Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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