Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
is that a dick in a sweater?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize