smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
