I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
