just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
