can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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