Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
