my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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