I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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