Jerry, you need to find god
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
