So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
