bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
