Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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