What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
