Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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