Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize