In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
