I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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