last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
