I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
