She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
a search helicopter?!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
