Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We are all done wearing pants today
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
