I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
