tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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