I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
