I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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