just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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