Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
