you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
