Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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