then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
