remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
