i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
