My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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