I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
