Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
