if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
