My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
