Sponge bath it is.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
