dude i'm inner monologue high
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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