I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
