We're like a lot better than the average bears
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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