Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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