I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
