Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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