I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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