So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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