no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
