We're like a lot better than the average bears
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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