I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
