I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
