He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize