everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
