the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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