Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Randomize
